So this morning, I voted for Barry Bond's record breaking HR ball to be launched into outer space forever, never to be dealt with again. Not even kidding, I really did. And because we live in this great country of America, you can too. Ain't democracy just grand?
Anyway, so I took yesterday off. Completely off. I didn't go to work, I didn't wake up on time, I didn't shower when I usually do and I didn't post anything on the blog for you people. I think I was didn't even put pants on until at least noon.
Instead I did some pretty productive things. I started out by doing what I usually do when I am trying to be productive...I checked the TV. All that I found was Live with Regis and Kelly. Man, I forgot how hot Kelly Ripa is. But it she wasn't hot enough to get me to sit there and endure Regis Philbin for the next hour or so. So I had to leave the apartment.
So that I would be ready to start classes next Tuesday night, I needed to look into getting my textbooks. For anyone who knows, buying college textbooks is like this (go ahead and fast forward to the :39 second mark to get the full effect of what I mean.). Actually, I think a kick to the nuts would feel a little bit better than buying textbooks for college. I would prefer the nut-kick in most cases.
So I go to the bookstore to find the books I'll be needing for this term. I find them, and to my horror, they are at least $100 bucks each! "Good Lord, Mother Mary and Dale Earnhardt Jr.", I think to myself. On second thought, I don't know why I was so surprised. I just thought that maybe it was going to be my lucky day. Not so. Then I had a dose of reality and common sense hit me, while I was standing there, about to pay through the a** for these two books. Two books that I was going to use for only a good three months of my life, mind you. Dude, you can totally buy these books on the internet. Why didn't I think of it earlier?
So I have decided to purchase these textbooks on the internet, and by doing so, sticking it to the "overcharging-for-college-textbooks" man. And I don't feel bad about it one bit. Actually, "F" the man, is my motto.
So the crisis of buying books for college was largely averted. And I am please to announce that I have found both of the books I'm gonna need online for a combined amount of about $100 bucks. Much better than the $200+ bucks that was staring me in the face at the bookstore. Still way too much to pay, if you ask me, but still. I should be able to buy some groceries this month.
But if I had needed to buy the books at the bookstore yesterday, this is how I envision the exchange going:
Sales girl: Are you all ready?
Me: Yep, sure am.
Sales girl: Did you find everything alright?
Me: Yep, sure did.
Sales girl: Is this going to be all for you?
Me: Yeah, just the two books there.
Sales girl: Alrighty, that's gonna be a total of $278.39. Will that be cash or card?
Me: Ummmm, what? Excuse me. Come again.
Sales girl: Total for the two books is $278.39. (She says this with a straight face. Unbelievable. She is mocking me in her head I think.)
Me: Lady, are you friggin serious?
Sales girl: Oh and we're having a special right now ... and for that I am going to need to take your happiness and your livelihood and your dignity as well.
Me (crying): Oh is that all? Do you wanna nut-punch me now or later?
