So I hardly ever go to the movies anymore. I honestly don't know why I keep going. I really don't. I have not seen a funny movie in a really long time. Superbad was pretty funny, but still wasn't as good as the hype made it out to be. But then again, there aren't many things that live up to the hype.
I am considering giving up on going to see comedies all together. And it's not very funny.
Here is the rundown of how my night at the movies went. 1) The movie was just fa-reaking awful. And 2) I was an almost-active participant in a Mexican make out session taking place next to me the whole time.
So I went to see this new, hot comedy Good Luck Chuck, right? And I'll be honest, this wasn't a movie that I saw the trailer for and was just dying to see. Nothing like that. I was hanging out with my sister, and we wanted to go see a movie. There wasn't much else to do. And it was between Good Luck Chuck and 3:10 to Yuma. I am still regretting our decision.
But not entirely. I only say that because Jessica Alba was just perfect looking in this movie. But her acting was almost more amazing than her looks. I mean, anyone that can stand to be around Dane Cook for more than two hours (let alone days and days of filming), has to be able to act a little bit, right?
I hate to keep telling you people not to waste your time seeing movies, but movies like this should come with a warning on the package. Or the ticket, I guess. But whatever, they just need to warn you about how crappy movies like this really are. I can't even remember any ridiculous lines to relate to you, or any specific examples of the awfulness of this flick, so there ya go.
Bottom line, it's just your usual single guy finds the "girl of his dreams", can't focus on anything else, professes his love, they get it on a lot, something goes wrong, they get mad at each other, they "take a break" or whatever, blah blah blah, they get back together, blah blah blah. I really can't get it through my head why people in this country continue to go see the same old storyline played out over and over. It's not like we don't know what's gonna happen.
Unfortunately, I am guilty of doing that very thing, so I have no leg to stand on I guess.
So besides the movie being extra bad, I had the opportunity of sitting right next to some low-rent Oscar de la Hoya making out with his girl for the entire time.
Like, from when they arrived until when they left. The ENTIRE time.
Now I can't fault a guy for taking his girl to the movies and makin a little bit of a romantic time, yadda yadda yadda. Everyone does that, I think. But dude...knock it the EFF off already. There is a time and a place, and the time is NOT now, and the place is no way in Hell right next to me.
Let me back up here, for a sec. Dude and his girl didn't even get there on time. They walked in about half hour into the movie. Why anyone would even still go to a movie that's been running for 30 minutes is just beyond me. Folks, they gotta be retarded right?
So they walk up the stairs and proceed to stand right next to me. "Uhhh can I help you or something??" I am sitting on the end, just so you know. I guess there isn't a seat in the whole row, so they ask me to move over. "Yeah thanks a$$hole. Like there aren't 30 other empty seats in this damn place." It wasn't THAT packed in there.
The sound of smooching, I swear to you, has to be one of the most annoying sounds ever. It's up there with the nails on the chalkboard type stuff. Yeah it's that's bad. But the worst part about this all, besides one full hour of smooching sounds...was the dude was touching me, like, the whole time they were making out.
That's why I mention that I was an almost-active participant in their make out session. And it wasn't the "oops-didn't-know-you-were-there" kind of touch. It was like, "hey-I-don't-care-that-you-are-there-and-I-am-going-to-touch-your-leg-all-weirdly-like-this" touch or even better, the "wanna-come-and-join-us-over-here" touch. It was quite repulsive and really freaked me out to be honest. I swear I would tense up every time he touched me because I was so startled by it.
So there you have it. An awfully bad movie coupled with an informal invite into some stranger's make out session. That made up my Saturday night.
