Okay, so I've been jobless for about 5 months now. Seems like a real long time and you probably think that I've been coasting on the job hunt as well. I get it, it's a long time. But I am no slacker. Ok, ok, part of the time, yes, I am a slacker. But who isn't. I would not classify my efforts in job hunting thus far as "coasting."
Anyway, so I woke up quite early this morning, 8:15 to be exact, and decided to try and be constructive today. Heard about a job opening at Fred Meyer's warehouse, so I thought I'd go online and apply for the job. Sounds simple enough, right? I am slowly finding out that I may not even want this job. Not if the actual job is anything like the application process.
I am in the middle of filling this puppy out right now. I've been actively filling it out since about 9:50. So as of right now, it's been 25 minutes of actively answering questions. I am answering their survey questions while I am writing this post, actually. But this thing is really starting to piss me off.
They have this survey, where they seem to want to "get to know ya better." Or something like that. You've seen them before, it's a survey about what you would do and how you react in certain situations. But these questions, or should I say, statements are really starting to get to me. Here, let me put a few sample statements from their survey word-for-word.
Statement 1:
When someone bothers you, you tell them off.
-Strongly disagree
-Disagree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree
Ok, this statement seems fair enough. If you look at it, it obviously has something to do with your potential "on-the-job" behavior. I get why they're asking this question. They want to know that if someone bothers me at work, I'm not necessarily going to fly off the handle, yell at them, or potentially hurt a fellow employee. Makes sense. So do questions like these: "When you are done with a task, you look for something else to do", "You are rarely late to places that you go", and "You give direct criticism to your fellow employees when needed." All these have something to do with work and being at work. I have no problem with questions such as these.
But it seems that this survey has taken a turn for the worse. Let's look at another statement or two here.
Statement 2
There's no use in having close friends; they always let you down.
-Strongly disagree
-Disagree
-Agree
-Strongly agree
Wait, what the hell? What the hell kind of question/statement is that? What does my close friendships and how I maintain them remotely have to do with what kind of worker I will be? I am sure if you thought about it hard enough, you could make up a reason why my friendships have an overwhelming amount to do with how I work, but this question just doesn't make any sense. I am pretty sure I won't be working with any of my friends at Fred Meyer.
I mean, what are they trying to say? Are they saying "Hey, since you don't have any close friends--probably because you're a jerk and they all hate you--why don't you come to join the team here at Fred Meyer's." Or maybe they're saying "Here at Fred Meyer's we don't give a sh*t about any and all close friends that you may have, so apply now!"
And then this:
Statement 3
You've had more than your share of bad luck.
-Strongly disagree
-Disagree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree
Ha, this is great! Hey I'm depressed! That means I should probably mark 'strongly agree'! I am so glad they had this question on the survey so that I can show the folks at Fred Meyer just how crappy my life has been! Boy, my life has sure been a crappy one! I love exclamation points! Here's another! And another! (switching to my Jamaican accent) Red Stripe! It's Beer! Hooray Beer! (Sorry but that's a great commercial.)
But really people, this survey is killin' me here. My eyes have gone all blurry. I can't even really read what I'm marking down for my answers. I have no clue as to what I agree and what I disagree about. I have no idea what I stand for anymore. And on top of all the crazy questions they're asking, this survey is, get this, TWENTY-FOUR pages long! 5 questions per page makes it 120 freaking questions long. Can we say overboard? Where I am currently at in the survey: Page 14. Ugh.
