Cam Newton Wrote His Name On The Laptop He Stole

Back in November of 2008, Cam Newton stole a fellow student's laptop computer.  When the cops were about to search his dorm room, he tossed it out the window.  One of his buddies scooped it up and tried to hide it in a nearby dumpster.  Through some texts on his seized cell phone, the cops were able to locate where the laptop was.

Hmm.  Not exactly the act of a criminal mastermind.  It sounds like what a seven year-old would do in the exact same situation.

But what makes it all worse and more laughable at the same time is that he WROTE HIS NAME ON THE STOLEN COMPUTER.


I'm speechless actually.  I really do not know what to say about that.  He would have been home free if he didn't freaking write his name on it.  From the story on Deadspin:

But we went to Paul Loschak, the former UF student that Newton stole it from, to make sure.  It's "100 percent definitely the laptop," Loschak told us. But we were curious about Newton's name, painted in large white block letters.

"When I first bought my laptop, I painted a picture of a forest and a river on the back. I did it partly because I was bored, and partly because I wanted my laptop to have some major identifying features in case it ever got stolen. After my laptop was stolen in October 2008 Cam (or somebody) painted it black to cover my painting and painted his name on it in big white letters, just like you see in the pictures. That's exactly how the laptop looked when I got it back from the police evidence department."

That's just excellent. It's one thing to cover up identifying features on property you've stolen. It's another to put your own damn name on it, as if the international law of Finders Keepers would be in play.

Wow, what a genius.  He definitely has more smarts on the football field than smarts when trying to steal things.  And I suppose that is a good thing that the rest of us can be grateful for.  We don't have to worry about him coming to jack our computers from us.

[ Deadspin ]