My Completely Objective Rundown of Everything About Super Bowl XVLI

This year's Super Bowl is most likely going to be a lonely one for myself.  It hasn't been that way in years past, but it will be this time.  And that's actually the way I'd prefer it to be this year.  You see, the Patriots are my team of choice in the NFL, and when they're playing, I tend to get a little bit intense. 

So, when the Patriots are playing in the Super Bowl (or any other game of significance), I would much rather watch it by myself, thus avoiding all the noise and random BS that happens when not everyone in the room cares about the game as much as I do.  The more I think about it and write about it, it seems like a bit of a sickness.  But I digress.

I've spent the past week watching the media coverage from afar, trying to avoid getting too wrapped up in all the pre-game hype that has become as much a part of the Super Bowl experience as the actual game itself.

In fact, if the Ravens and 49ers were playing in this year's Super Bowl, there's no doubt I would be paying more attention to all the random, over-dramatic, non-story stories than to who was going to win the actual game.  Maybe a lot of people are like that.  Maybe not.

Friday Wrap Up: Super Bowl XLV Edition

Well we've made it through the much ballyhooed week of Super Bowl media coverage, and we're ready to just sit back and enjoy the game. 

Since our beloved New England Patriots haven't made an appearance in the big game in a few years, it's been a while since we've had a true rooting interest.  But games like this are more enjoyable for us anyway, because we get so worked up for Super Bowls that the Pats have played in, that we haven't been able to sit back and relax at all.

In fact, we're so nervous that we have to go into a separate room to watch the game so that annoying Super Bowl party goers don't bother us, and in turn, make us even more nervous.  That's how crazy we get when New England plays in the Super Bowl.

On a completely unrelated note, if Molly Qerim was watching all those Super Bowls with us, we probably wouldn't have given two sh*ts whether the Patriots win the game or not.  She'll distract a fella from time to time.

Crap, we just forgot what we were writing about.  See?  It's already happened.  Oh, that's right...

1. Here's a lengthy article where among lots of other things, The Sports Guy lays down his rules for cities that should be able to host the Super Bowl.  Couple of the highlights are:

--If MTV would never film a "Real World" season in your city, you probably shouldn't host the Super Bowl. 

--If your location doesn't quadruple the chances that a player on one of the two teams will get arrested, you shouldn't host the Super Bowl.

Apparently, Hines Ward Likes To Dress Up

Unfortunately, the cowboy get-up looks like something Ward meant (?) to wear.  Your guess is as good as mine as to why.  It's a terrible, terrible look man.

There Will Be No Official Packers Or Steelers Eye Candy At The Super Bowl

I wish Tampa Bay was playing instead...

While the talking heads at ESPN are already breaking down the X's and O's of the Steelers and Packers, the intricacies of each team's defenses and what team has the early advantage and why, I'm concerned with something far more important.  Where the hell are all the cheerleaders going to be?

There won't be any from either of the teams that are squaring off in Super Bowl 45.

Yes, it's true.  The Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers do not have official team cheerleaders.  And the reason they don't have team cheerleaders is...well I have no clue.  I don't have enough time to research it.  Plus, whatever the reason they had for making the decision to get rid of the cheerleaders is a stupid reason, plain and simple.  But I did see somewhere that the last time the Steelers had cheerleaders (called the Steelerettes), it was around the late 60's, early 70's.  That is far too long if you ask me.

But c'mon people, having cheerleaders cheering for your football team is the American way dammit.  Not having them should be against the law, or should get you slapped, or something.  Not to sound like a major chauvinist or anything, but I really, really like cheerleaders.  They're great in every way.

Believe it or not, there are six NFL franchises that don't have cheerleaders, for whatever reason.  The Steelers, Packers, New York Giants, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions, and the Cleveland Browns have all shut down their team's cheerleaders at one point.  The fact that Detroit and Cleveland don't have cheerleaders is understandable though, because who wants to watch chicks from Detroit and/or Cleveland dance around in front of them at a football game.  Ya know?  We're kidding about that.  But seriously...  

Luckily, I'm guessing that since the Super Bowl is being held at Jerry-World, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones will make sure that there are plenty of hot women dancing on the sidelines and everywhere else for that matter.  That's because he is a true American hero, folks.  God bless Jerry Jones for doing this.