Ray Lewis Warns Us Of Impending Rise In Crime Across America

Recently, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis sat down with ESPN's Sal Paolantonio to discuss the only thing going on with the NFL right now -- the lockout!  I love how the title of the ESPN article about this is "Ray Lewis Discusses Lockout Issues" when the real name of the article should have been "Ray Lewis Says a Bunch Of Crazy S#%t."  That would be much more fitting.  Because almost everything Ray Lewis said was nonsense.

Here's the play-by-play of what Lewis said to SalPal:  "Do this research if we don't have a season -- watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game," Lewis told ESPN's Sal Paolantonio.

That's because, Lewis said, the NFL lockout affects "way more than us" -- the owners and the players.  "There's too many people that live through us, people live through us," he said. "Yeah, walk in the streets, the way I walk the streets, and I'm not talking about the people you see all the time."

When asked why he thought crime would increase if the NFL doesn't play games this year, Lewis said: "There's nothing else to do Sal."

Yeah, Sal....there is NOTHING else to do!  All there is to do is "evil, *pause* which we call crime!!!"  Yes, folks, according to Ray Lewis, there are pretty much only two choices folks have when choosing what to do with their time.  Either watch football 24 hours a day or go out and commit crimes.  I'm too tired to get too deep into how ridiculous what Lewis said was, nor was I planning to.  Simply put, I think he's overstating the importance of the NFL in people's lives just a tad. 

There are lots and lots of other things going on in this country that are a little more important than the game of football or the lockout.  

[ ESPN.com ]

You Just Ain't A Gangsta Until You Grab Your Nuts While Someone's Taking A Picture

Boyyyyyyyyy.  Kevin Garnett?  Check.  Paul Pierce?  Check.  I guess Ray Allen just ain't a true gangsta yet.  C'mon Ray, where you at man? 

Mark Cuban Sounds Like A Really Cool Guy. Or Not.

One day, folks.  That's all it took Mark Cuban's douchiness to get him in the headlines again.  Saw this nugget posted on Blazersedge.com, where longtime Portland reporter Kerry Eggers had an interesting exchange with Cuban after the infamous Game 4.

Here is Eggers' account of what transpired.

Cuban had made the news when he got hit by some sort of projectile in the fourth quarter of Game 3 at the Rose Garden. I’d heard some repartee between the Mavericks’ colorful owner and Blazer fans may have precipitated it, but the only quote I’d seen from him was, “Somebody hit me in the face. Somebody threw something and it hit me.”

I started the interview by asking Cuban if he knew what hit him.  “I got hit by something,” he said, pleasantly enough. “All I know is the pretty lady next to me jumped, something hit me in my face and that was it.”  Any idea what the object was?  Suddenly, Cuban’s mood darkened to the color of the Dallas sky (tornado warnings) that afternoon.

Kevin Garnett Went All 'Kevin Garnett' On Al Jefferson In Last Night's Game

From the headline, you can probably guess what happened last night between KG and Jazz forward Al Jefferson.  But I always love a good read about how much of an asshole Kevin Garnett can be for absolutely no reason at all.  From Boston.com's game summary.

"It started with a simple trick. With the Jazz trailing, 98-94, in last night’s game, Jefferson had Garnett posted, ready to go to work, and Garnett pulled the chair out from under Jefferson.

Then, the talking started.

Referee Joey Crawford issued warnings, double technicals, and more warnings. Garnett was face-to-face with Jefferson the entire time. Celtics coach Doc Rivers has a rule against fourth quarter technicals, but Garnett shouted at Rivers, saying, "I didn’t say anything."  He was still mouth-to-ear with Jefferson at that point, and Jefferson was the picture of frustration."

Jefferson did his best to downplay the whole thing after the game.

The A-Hole That Killed Auburn's Beloved Trees Is Having A Hard Time Finding A Lawyer That Doesn't Hate Him

Call me heartless, but I don't have one ounce of sympathy for this guy, Harvey Updyke.  From everything I've seen or read on this guy, he seems like kind of a prick.  The original prick move was poisoning those dumb trees, but you can really class up the joint by flipping the bird to the local news camera crew while sitting in the back of a squad car.  Nicely done, Harvey.

According to AL.com, the third public defender that was assigned to represent Mr. Updyke, asked to be removed from the case, citing a conflict of interest.  According to the article, "Jerry M. Blevins, who was hired as Updyke's attorney last Friday, filed a motion Tuesday afternoon asking to be removed from the case. He's the third defense attorney to ask to be removed......Blevins, in court papers, said he asked to be removed because an "irreconcilable conflict arose" between he and Updyke."  Turns out that if you live in or around the town of Auburn, Alabama, it's pretty hard to find a lawyer without a) ties to Auburn University or b) who is not a fan of Auburn football.  Go figure.

If I was asked to be this guy's lawyer, the only "conflict of interest" that I would cite is that he's an asshole. (Zing!)  On the flipside, some people are making the lives of these trees to be equal to, like, the lives of actual human beings.  And that's kind of out there, I mean, c'mon people.  They are freaking trees.  

Still, I stick to my original point that this guy should get a few years of jail time just because of how stupid he is, not necessarily for what he did.  Oh and the only TV he gets to watch is playing a continuous loop of Auburn's 24-23 comeback victory against Alabama in this past season's Iron Bowl.  Now that would be a worthy punishment.

[ AL.com story ]

Guess What Kevin Garnett Was Up To Yesterday?

If you answered "being a punka**"-- ding, ding, ding --you would be correct.  I'm serious when I say I think someone should start a blog about all the d*ck moves that Garnett pulls, and you would have plenty of material.

Here is a description from Yahoo! Sports of what happened in the picture to the right: "After Wade drove for a layup, Allen hit a 15-footer and Wade was called for a flagrant foul for elbowing Garnett while fighting for position.  While the referees discussed it, the Heat gathered on the court and Rondo lingered outside their huddle until James pushed him away. Allen intervened to pull Rondo away."

But they forgot to add a couple of key details.  From PeninsulaIsMightier.com: "It was about that time when nasty Kevin Garnett reared his ugly face.  He gave Mike Miller a dirty elbow to the back of the head, then when D-Wade came to Miller's defense it was Wade that was hit with the flagrant-1."

My favorite thing about Kevin Garnett is that when people defend his "style of play", they talk about how effective he is at "getting into the opponents head."  Yeah well whatever you want to call it, where I'm from it's called being a douchebag.

Spike Lee Thinks Kevin Garnett Is A Jerk. Also, The Sky Is Blue And Water Is Wet.

KG really needs to just get popped in the mouth

One thing that we love around here is when someone, whether it's a fellow player, coach, analyst or fan, calls out Kevin Garnett for the weak-minded, pompous ass that he is.  And when someone does that, we love posting about it.

Look, you pretty much have to admit that Kevin Garnett is a big time asshole, no matter who you are.  Even if you're a Boston Celtics fan or a KG fan, I don't care.  You have to be delusional if you can't admit that Garnett is a jerk.  Some Celtic fans can admit it, and some cannot.  In fact, there is so much evidence of Garnett's antics out there, that you could probably start a whole website devoted to just how big of a jerk KG is.  And you would have something to write about most every day of the season.  Trust me, we've thought about it a time or two ourselves.  Someone has probably already beat us to the punch with that idea, actually.  But that is neither here nor there.

For an avid KG-hater, like we are, Spike Lee's interview with ESPN New York was like music to our ears.

And suddenly, Spike Lee seemed like much cooler of a guy to us.  This is what he says about the last time the Celtics visited Madison Square Garden:

Miami 107, Portland 100 In Overtime

How to be an a**hole 101

Damn, the Blazers were so freaking close in this one.  I was ready to bail on the game if it got ugly early (I am truly dedicated, I know), but they hung in there and probably should have won the game.

I have a question though.  Does LeBron get more and more douche-y with each game he plays?  I think so.  He's more of an asshat now than ever.  For one, his whole chalk powder throw-in-the-air routine is a total ripoff of Michael Jordan and he's just trying too hard with it.  You look like a horse's ass when you do it LeBron.  And his teammates probably get pissed watching him do it by now too.

When he was in Cleveland and he was the only star on the team, sure he could do whatever he wanted and no one could talk back.  But really Dwyane Wade, you're going to take that from him?

I also noticed that LeBron is sort of a human d-bag finder.  Especially when he plays on the road.  I noticed several times after LeBron would score and at the end when he hit that 3-pointer, it was like roll call for all the douchebags in the crowd.  They would all stand up in unison when LeBron scored.  Very, very convenient if you're trying to avoid them in large crowds, like I try to do.

And then, about the 3 pointer that he hit to put the nail in Portland's coffin?  Yeah, great shot and all.  Gotta give it up to him on that one.  Too bad he can't hit that shot in a game that really matters, huh?  Like say, the playoffs against Boston or something?  Just sayin.

Why don't you go and win something and then get back to me LeBron.